Exhausted!

Have you ever been so tired that you didnt want to move? Or comb your hair? Or walk to the refrigerator to get a cold diet Pepsi? Well thats me tonight, I am a tired puppy!! The reason that I am tired? I have worked 72 hours in the last 7 days.

Now, I dont have your average run of the mill 5 day a week 9-5 job. In case you didnt know my job is different. Freakishly unusual and extremely stressful and tiring. I am an emergency room RN. I no longer work in a trauma center, or in a busy midlevel ER like I did in PA. I work in a small community hospital, but our community is over 150,000 in population. AND we have lots of drunks, lots of meth users and not enough doctors to handle 50,000 people, let alone 150,000....

So our ER can be extremely busy. And for the last 3 months, we have been extremely busy. Non stop, run your butt off, make an appointment to pee busy. Some days we have tons of critically ill people and some days it seems like we just do clinic stuff. Its tiring all the same.

So anyway, I am begging for a small change in my schedule and I plan to take the next 6 days that I have off to recuperate, so I can go back and do it all over again.

I need to have my head examined....

I am off to collapse in my chair now. until tomorrow, cya!

The Floor is done!

Well, almost completely done! I will post pictures on Friday or Saturday. It is beautiful. Dana did a great job. The hounds love to run across the floor making click-clack noises. LOL

Breanna is busy planning her future. Will it be AF ROTC? or will it be the US Navy? Only time will tell. If she can get cleared to join AF ROTC and be accepted at CSU, I am sure that is the route she will take. It will take 4 years to complete, but at least she will have a college degree when she is done.

I am at work right now, so not much news, stay tuned for more updates in a few days. It is nearly impossible to blog and work night shifts, eat, shower and go back to work more night shifts. 72 hours in 7 days!!!! Why am I killing myself in this freaking professiion???? Hurry up Friday morning!!

Aloha!

What a difference 3 days makes.... Another decision on the horizon...

Breanna went to talk to the AF recruiter today, she was checking on the time frame for returning to the AF for Bre. At first, the recruiter said she could not return, ever. And then she called her commanding officer, and they found out that because of the code that was on Breanna's discharge papers, she COULD return... in one year.

We are not sure how that affects AF ROTC, Bre will call the Capt in charge of AF ROTC Detachment 90 tomorrow. Now comes the twist....

Bre spent over an hour with the Navy recruiter this afternoon. She found out some interesting things that sounded good to her, she can enlist in the Navy, even though the AF wont let her return for a year. She can choose to join Navy DEP and plan her ship date to basic training as far as 6 months down the road. Her basic training would be in Chicago, which is a far cry from south Texas! LOL

Anyway, thats where we stand at this point. I am in the middle of a marathon 72 hour work week, after which I will get 6 days off, so I am thrilled about that. IF I can make it to Friday morning!

We are laying laminated flooring in our living room and I have taken pics of that, hopefully I will get them posted in a day or two. The two dogs have taken a huge interest in putting the planks down, and they are both exhausted tonight.

So, until tomorrow...

Say Hello To Max!!

Well, we did it. We spent most of the daylight hours on Wednesday driving to Salt Lake City to check out some of the basset hounds that were available for adoption through the basset rescue there.

We came home with Max. He is 4 yrs old and absolutely adorable. A bit fluffy (arent we all) but very easy to get along with and very eager to please. Frankie wasnt the least bit frightened of him when we got home, and they have struck up a friendship that hopefully will only get stronger. We are hoping that Max will help Frankie remember that he needs to go potty outside and not inside and that he shouldnt beg for food when the people are eating at the table. LOL

Max got a bit of a hamburger patty on the road, and it was lip smacking good! Then when we got home he explored the house while Frankie kept watch.

Breanna went with us, she is sure Max has chosen her as his favorite 2 legger and she might be right!

We are now the loving owners of a basset again, our houndie family is complete. :-)

No Zander....

Do you remember the basset that we were going to pick up in Salt Lake City tomorrow? WELL... the foster parents decided late last night that they wanted to adopt him. I dont mind that they decided to keep him but it would have been nice if they had decided anytime over the previous several days when we were talking to them on the phone and making arrangements to pick him up and filling out applications for adoptions, etc. SO tomorrow we are going to take the drive to SLC anyway to look at the hounds that they have that are adoptable. Wish us luck.

Bre has been working on a shadow box for her Air Force stuff, (stripes, name badge, coins etc) I think she did a good job with it. I hope this picture does it justice.

Now, GOOD NEWS! The admissions criteria for Colorado State University for residential tuition will allow Bre to enroll as a colorado resident! Because she is under 23, they use our residency status instead of hers and we will be residents of Colorado for one year on July 17, one full month before classes start! YAY! This will save her $12,000 per year if she goes to CSU, and about $5,000 per year if she goes to Arapaho.

Now the application procedure starts. On Thursday I think she is going to go ahead and apply to CSU and Arapaho, and then maybe 2 more colleges after that.

Financial aid, here we come!!!!

I'm All Fixed!!

I am all fixed!!! WAHOO!! I bought a new laptop today, (Gateway M series, and its RED) and I love, love, love it! Dell couldnt seem to get the idea that my credit card is NOT a debit card, so they kept processing my laptop purchase from them as a debit card and it would get kicked back. Both times I tried to buy a Dell laptop, the order was cancelled. SO... buh bye Dell! I am now a Gateway owner! And it is beautiful. I wish I could post a pic, well I could, but I am posting a pic of Bre and I last month instead.

Now on to bigger and better things.. Breanna is settling into civilian life pretty well considering. We found out today that the deadline for applications to CSU for fall semester was Feb 1, but they are going to extend it to May 1 as long as space will allow, so this week we have to get the apps in for CSU. She is also going to apply to 2 comm colleges and University of Northern Colorado just so she has more eggs in her basket. My Niece recommended that she apply to more than one college and that makes total sense to me (thank you Tosh) and since she is in graduate school, I will pay 100% attention to her recommendations! I havent been in College for 13 years, I am very rusty on the routines.

Our weather is heavenly it was up to 50 degrees today and we had lots and lots of gorgeous sunshine. Frankie loves to run around the yard and he feels so grown up out there, until a cat comes up and looks in through the fence and then he turns into a chicken.

We are going to Salt Lake on Wednesday to pick up our new furbaby, Zander. This is a pic of Zander from the rescue website, we are looking forward to bringing him into our family and showering him with love. His foster parents say he is very timid, thats fine with us, after enduring the aggression of Reggie for the last couple of years, timid is a good thing.

I will post about Zander when we pick him up and I will definately take pictures!!!!

Until tomorrow! cya

A better day..

Today was a better day for Breanna, she is pretty much back to her smiling, laughing self. I think the sleep helped, and I have faith that her strong will can help her get back on her feet.

We spent the day together, ran some errands and she came home and played xbox for a while. She LOVES her xbox! Yep, my daughter, who looks so gorgeous dressed in a formal dress with her hair done LOVES blowing up stuff! She is SUCH a soldier. LOLOL

We had a great dinner of steak cooked on Danas new grill, salad and baked potatoes. This made her happy too.

I think starting this week she is going to get some college applications out in the mail and start communicating with the AF ROTC rep at CSU. We want to take a campus tour there in the spring. I am looking forward to it too. shhhhhhh :-)

I am still using Danas computer (we are sharing actually) and waiting for my new laptop. PLEASE DELL, SEND ME MY LAPTOP!!!!!

Thats why I have no pictures or graphics, please bear with me. Until tomorrow, tah tah!

Computer Woes!!

My laptop is unaccessible. We are at defcon 5 here folks, Frankie chewed through my AC adapter AGAIN on tuesday night so I had to order another one on Wednesday. I am buying a new laptop and ordered it early Friday morning from work, and I found out, quite by accident tonight that the order was CANCELLED!! I have no clue why, and since we live in the West and Dell is in the east, then I cant ask anyone, so I had to order it again...

Lets hope I dont end up with two of them. Anyway, I am using Danas laptop right this second (thank you Dana) to update my blog and to read my email.

On to Breanna, she arrived home today. She actually arrived in Denver yesterday, spent the night at my nieces house (thank you Tosh) and rode the train home today. She is stressed, and depressed and sad. I dont know what to say to cheer her up, I dont even know if I can, but if I thought I could, I would...

Right now she has collapsed onto her bed and gone right to sleep. No sheets, no pillowcases (they were in the dryer) just the bed. I woke her up, made her bed (with her in it) and she went back to sleep. I am praying that after a few days of rest she will gain some composure and start to focus on applying to CSU and AF ROTC.

If you are the praying kind, please say a prayer for her.

Did you every have one of those "Oh Shit" moments??

Breanna had one of those moments today. She went to the section supervisors office to sign her "comment letter", which is the statement that she signs stating she is physically unable to return to training at this time. Part of the way through the letter, she noticed that it stated that "in order to return to the USAF, a trainee MUST have 3 recommendations by officers on base".... OH SHIT!!!

She did not have any recommendations, she had not been informed of this fact prior to coming into the office today. She told the Sgt that she didnt have any recommendations.

He laughed, and said "Miracle dont worry, you have FIVE recommendations!!!" Unbeknownst to her, the Sgt and four of her TI's had already signed the recommendations for her to return as enlisted personnel if she so desires in one year!!! She was ecstatic! This is the greatest compliment that she has ever had, these guys all came and signed without her even asking.... we owe them all a huge thank you.

So, now the door is open. She is able to return as enlisted personnel, and according to the powers that be at Lackland, the door is wide open for her to return as an officer.

ROTC HERE SHE COMES!!! It might take 4 years but she will be coming out an officer and will also have a degree when it is all over. I hope this is what God has planned for her.

The Day After..

Breanna called this morning, she sounded a bit happier and more relaxed. She was called down to CQ last night and one of the TI's who has been giving her a hard time told her that the "Commander of BMT" wants her gone. I am not sure if he thought he was going to upset her or make her mad, she just said "OK" and went back upstairs. The mindset of some of these guys is ridiculous.

So, now she waits. She said they will probably want to get her out of there by Friday, but she is projecting sometimes near the first of March. I predict next week, who wants to take bids on when she gets out of there? LOL

Its pretty weird around here realizing that we arent going to be an Air Force family any more. Everywhere you look in Bre's room is Air Force from the shirts in her closet to posters, blankets, books etc. We have Air Force hoodies, coffee cups, pictures on the wall of her with the Air Force symbol that she sent us from BMT, you get the idea.

I even have a set of Air Force wings on my name badge at work....
I have to work for the next 3 nights, so the blog entries are going to be hit and miss. Have a great week everyone, I will update you when I know something!

And the Verdict Is...

Breanna is coming home. She had a long appointment with the people at Mini Reed this morning and they recommended that she go ahead and separate. She is ready. I think I am ready too.

She is still having dizziness, headaches and weakness in her legs. As soon as she comes home she will be getting a CT scan of her head.

No more news about when she will arrive. She will have to be briefed and out processed, it could take a week or longer.

SO. (take a deep breath mom) this chapter is soon to be over. What comes next? I have an email in to the PR officer for the 90th detachment of ROTC in Ft Collins Colorado. We have to find out if she can join ROTC in August. According to mini reed she will be given an administrative discharge and will be able to come back as an officer but not reinlist...

Do I peel the "My daughter is in the Air Force" bumper sticker off of my car??? :-(

I will keep the blog updated.

I think I need a drink. (and I dont drink)

Sadness..

My heart is being torn apart for Breanna, she is trying to make the decision of what to do prior to her meeting on monday, and it is so very very hard for her. I have tried to give her advice, and I wish I were there with her to give her my support and encouragement. Its so difficult to do from 1200 miles away.

This is her first adult decision, and one that will impact her life more than possibly any other that she will ever make. I cannot make it for her.

She loves the Air Force, but she is tired and dejected and afraid.

Please keep her in your prayers.

Life With Puppy.

Frankie has just experienced his first real snowfall. When it was snowing last week he went out to do his business and kept jumping on the snowflakes as they hit the ground. It was so cute and I didnt get pics of it. But I did get pics of him running through the snow in the yard. (see above).

Someone on a dachshund board posted this poem about Life with Puppy and I love it, I cant resist sharing:

My pretty towels out for display,

Nope, they're not there, all put away.

My slippers left in place on the floor,

Yes, that's right, they're there no more.

Toilet paper, on the holder,

Gone, put up high, so I'm not a scolder.

Waste cans with paper, spent mail, and such,

Are up on the end tables so "someone" can't touch.

The speed in which I clean up a spill,

MUST increase, he's "on it" at will.

The paper towel left "just in case",

Can no longer be there, it's shredded all over the place!

But trading these things, just a brief moment in life,

Is not even something we'd think to do.

Raising a puppy takes a lot of patience and strife,

But it's fleeting, this is something we knew.

He's growing so quickly, I wish he would stop.

A puppy an adolescent, then adult in a hop.

But having him from near his beginning through forever,

Is a prize we never expected to win.

But he or she will be the puppy they have waited for,

And NOW their forever will begin.

One more pic of our little guy, Frankie....

No real news from Breanna today, she spent half of the day doing a work detail with 7 other recruits. they went to a TI training session and worked with the TI trainees doing drills. Arent they supposed to know how to do drills already??? Not a clue. Bre had fun. She also asked me to send her some civilian clothes. She is no doubt coming home.

So... its time for me to start doing my ROTC and CSU entrance requirement homework! It never hurts for Dana and I to know what its all about. Lets hope the USAF releases her with the ability to return in 6 months!

Almost to the End...

I am almost sure that Breanna is going to separate from the Air Force. She is at rock bottom right now. She has herself convinced that she cannot pass the PRT eval. It is very difficult to join upper level weeks prior to BMT and unfortunately this is something we (she?) didnt consider. Not just due to the physical demands, but there is a lot of new memory work that she has to learn. and then theres the BDU stigma (which I dont understand).

She is tired. Tired of the run around and tired of worrying about what is going to come up next. I have put this in Gods hands, I know he doesnt make mistakes and whatever will happen will happen. Since last November, Bre has really changed her attitude about the Air Force.

She still wants to be military and part of the USAF, but since having dinner with the family who took her home for "Operation Home Cooking," she has begun carving a new outlook. In this family, the mom was a Lt Col, the dad was a Master Sgt, and both sons were Majors. She LOVED hanging out with the officers. She has talked about being an officer for seveal months now. Maybe this is her calling, who knows? IF she comes home, I predict her next step (if allowed by her separation paperwork) will be to apply to Colorado State University and join the Detachment 90 of the ROTC. At least thats what I am hoping for.

Its not what I would do, but I do not have control over her choices. I have raised Breanna to be independant and above all else to realize that she has to be responsible for her choices.

She has an appt with Mini-Reed (yes, again!!) on Feb 11, and she will have a decison by then. She met with them this morning and they told her that she can either return to training today or go home... then they made a return appt. (talk about disorganized confusion!!)

So thats where we stand. No matter what she decides, we are in full support of her. I am keeping my fingers crossed that if she does separate, that she will be able to return to the Air Force in 6 months.

No matter what happens I will keep you all updated on this blog. I am having fun keeping it up and its become a habit now. LOL

Time will tell... Wish us luck!

Superbowl Sunday!!!

Usually we enjoy Superbowl Sunday in our house, I am a football lover from way back, and Breanna and I are die hard Bronco fans. But this year, we arent even going to watch the game. I couldnt care less about the Giants or the Patriots (I apologize to you Giant and Patriot fans) it seems to me that both teams have been to the Superbowl way too many times over the last 30+ years. OK off of my soapbox.

I think Breanna may be close to separating from the Air Force. For whatever reason, she is very scared to return to training. She wont talk about it, and there is just so much prying I can do without looking at her face. I have reached the point of just accepting what she wants to do and not making a comment.

I cannot judge her feelings because I have not been sitting in med hold for 6 out of the last 7 months. I really want her to be happy and have a bright future, and I am not sure that staying in the AF is it. SO... I will keep you all posted. Things happen for a reason and I have to have faith that she will make the right decision.

Its wintry in western Colorado today, cold and snowing! Not springtime yet!

Now, to leave you with a smile... gotta love these boys!!

Suicide Saturday!!

I made a horrible mistake today, I went to Walmart to buy groceries. Now I have been working 6 out of the last 8 nights and I am not all with it ,(it takes a couple days to gain composure after working night shift and getting only 10 hours sleep every 48 hours. but I digress....) but I didnt think I was this bad. I WENT TO WALMART ON SUICIDE SATURDAY!!!!!

Today is called "suicide saturday" (named by Bre and I) because this is the first weekend of the month. Social Security checks have arrived, welfare checks have arrived and most people had a payday yesterday. This brings out ALL of the wackos!! Everyone needs to eat and buy toilet paper, right?

It was horrifying. Women in dirty t-shirts that were 2 sizes too small, pushing grocery carts overrun with fruit loops, M&M's, kraft macaroni and cheese, pizzas (for the superbowl???) and beer. Screaming loudly at their children (who were donned in dirty t-shirts and tennis shoes with holes) to "shut the hell up or I am going to bust your ass!" See? the classiest of the classy comes out to shop on suicide saturday. I need to have my head examined... I am glad I made it!

And now on to Breanna news. There is no news. She still feels funky after passing out and falling on Tuesday. She is getting frustrated, I am afraid she is near giving up. Her 7 week BMT experience is now 7 months. 7 months ago today, she left for BMT.... Today she was told she could not volunteer to do a detail because "they dont want any more incidents". WHAT?????

She is starting to think that maybe she is being shown that enlisted military is not what she is meant to do. I am beginning to think she may be right. We have told her, no matter whether she decides to stay in the Air Force or decides she has had enough and comes home, we are behind her all of the way. She has done more than her share of digging in and giving it her all.

SO.. we should have some news in the next week or so. Either she will separate (which is what they want her to do) or she will go back to training.

Please keep Bre in your prayers, she is really struggling with this.