unplanned hiatus...

It is with sadness and a heavy heart that I must let you all know that my mom passed away at approx 2:30am this morning. She and my dad were here in Colorado while he recovered from a broken hip.

I will be away from blog-world for about a week, while my sisters, my dad and I travel to Oklahoma for my moms funeral.

Please dont give up on me, I should be back on Monday March 2 or Tuesday March 3.

Until then, to those of you who still have moms in your life, please call them and tell them that you love them.

Before I go, I have to put down the lyrics from the song by Eric Clapton that was playing as I drove to my sisters house, after my mom had passed. I dont have to tell you how much I believe in heaven after hearing this, it made me feel at peace.

Tears In Heaven

Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same if I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong and carry on,
'Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven.

Would you hold my hand if I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand if I saw you in heaven?
I'll find my way through night and day,
'Cause I know I just can't stay here in heaven.

Time can bring you down, time can bend your knees.
Time can break your heart, have you begging please, begging please.

Beyond the door there's peace I'm sure,
And I know there'll be no more tears in heaven.

"The Change" a battle....

I remember when people used to call it "THE CHANGE", and I always wondered change from what? Growing up, I was never exposed to my mom going through menopause, due to a hysterectomy at an early age and the popularity of HRT at that time, I guess she just didnt have it.

So, now in my early 50's I am destined to not let this retro opinion of one of lifes most normal cycles to have any effect on my attitude...Menopause be damned! I will attack you with humor and chemicals! Armed with a dose of Cymbalta, I can overcome anything! And dont you forget it!!

Clinically speaking, I am in menopause. In spite of its irritating ability to render me nearly brain dead when it comes to short term memory, I am a remembering machine when it comes to long term memory. I can remember things that would surprise a scientist! I can remember the name of the kid in 3rd grade who carried a lunch box shaped like a barn and who threw up on the floor in the classroom!! (his name was Richard Smith). I can remember events that happened when I was in my 20's with alarming detail. But I cant remember what I had for lunch yesterday. sigh I am also saving on our heating bills by keeping the thermostat in the 60's! Hey, I am doing my part here and conserving fuels, right? And I dont even want to go into my cravings for chocolate...

My metabolism is dead, and speaking of dead, so is my enthusiasm for exercise. Maybe they go hand in hand I dont know. It makes dieting living hell, and I have relieved myself of that stressor at this time, I really hope it comes back. I still have some weight to lose.

Menopause has also given me an uncanny ability to speak my mind! Something I have never done in the past, and something that gets me in trouble on a routine basis, but man is it cathartic! Almost euphoric!

I dont feel old, I am NOT old, I am 51. And I believe you are only as old as you feel, I am still in my early 30's in my mind and sometimes I am even younger. LOL I REFUSE to get old!

So, Mr Menopause, if you think you are going to win, you're not. I have chemicals on my side.... BEWARE!

I found this on youtube, and it is hysterical. Check it out.

I still think they make you look like a monk!

I have lots of friends who are just ga ga over these snugli things. Me, not so much. In fact I dont like them at all. I think they make you look like a friar or a monk. I could just see me all tucked into a snugli and then having to go to the bathroom or something and falling flat on my face as I walk in it! LOLOL

Here is a video dedicated to the snugli, enjoy!

Random Tag

I stole this tag from Ness at Dachshund Strong. I thought it would be fitting for a blog on a day that I am at work. So here goes. Here are the rules:

It's simple: Once you have been tagged, you are supposed to write a list of the 10 people you would like to spend 5 minutes with. The list may include past historical figures or famous celebrities. Or anyone really. At the end, choose 10 people to be tagged.

1. Noah- I really want to ask him about the ark and how he got all of those animals on board.

2. President Obama- I have TONS of questions for him, and I just want to talk to him. I think he is an approachable guy. I also want to help him choose a puppy for his girls.

3. Whoopie Goldberg- one of my all time favorite celebrities. I think we would laugh a lot and spend way more than 5 minutes chatting.

4. Dr G. Medical Examiner- I have questions for her, work related stuff.

5. My grandpa- he was always so quiet and he died when I was only 6 yrs old, I want to ask him about his ancestors.

6. My great grandfather- this is my moms grandfather. My mom was raised by her grandparents and I never got to meet them. My great grandfather was an immigrant from Sweden. I would love to hear about his travels and how he got to the US.

7. Chelsey B. Sullenberger- the pilot of US Airways flight 1549 that went down in the Hudson River. More than anything I want to shake this mans hand and tell him what a freaking hero I think he is!

8. Nancy Grace- we need to talk. Mostly about the Caylee Anthony case. 5 minutes will NOT be enough!

9. John Elway- because I am a die hard Denver Broncos fan, and because I want to know what he thinks about Mike Shanahan getting fired.

10. My friend Vicki H- who left this earth way too early, I want to tell her that I love her and I think of her often, I would hug her and let her know that Robin and I have found each other again and we will never lose touch with each other.. I would also let her know that she has always been my inspiration and the motivation that has kept me in nursing. I miss her.

I am not tagging anyone, but if you guys decide to grab this tag, please let me know so I can read your answers!

Dachshund Love...

Todays post is, in part, for my friend Debbie at Gittin It Outta My Head.
I think Debbie needs a loyal, loving companion at home when she returns from a hard day of working at the prison. And so, with all of my best intentions, I want to introduce her to... Dachshund Love...


These people really LOVE their doxies. In fact every dachshund owner that I know literally feels the same. Something about this breed sucks them into your heart and forever there they will stay.


So, Debbie. If you arent convinced yet. take a look at this:




And before I go, a picture of Frankie as a baby. How can you resist this face?

8:22 and 4:10

We have, quite possibly, the smartest basset hound ever. At least he thinks he is. Max, our basset, has taught himself to tell time.

Max has 2 special times of the day, one is at 8:22am when he must come to our bedroom door and howl, aroo and yodel until I wake up, and come out to feed him. It is very important for Max to eat at precisely that hour because he gets a "rumbly in his tumbly" right around that time. Max weighs 82lbs. He is always quick to remind us that he is not FAT he is "big boned". He might even be called "husky". But never, ever FAT.

The other special time of the day for Max is 4:10pm. At this time, no matter what he is doing, he gets up and tells Dana that it is time to "GO WALKIES"!!! Going walkies is his second favorite thing to do (eating is his first) and he always reminds Dana that the "little hand is on the 4", and therefore it must be time to "GO WALKIES"!
Frankie is in awe of Max's abilities and he wants to be just like him when he grows up. He thinks big brothers are uber cool!

For Breanna...

Today marks the 1 year anniversary of Breannas discharge from the USAF. This is a bitter sweet day in our lives. Many of you were right there with us during the whole roller coaster ride. We endured frustration, dissapointment, encouragement, anger, and you name it, we ran the gamut on emotions.

Someone once said "whatever doesnt kill you makes you stronger". This should be Bre's mantra. She worked hard, she fought, she struggled and endured pain, and when the day finally came for her discharge, she held her head up high and with honor and signed the papers.

Now, one year later, I am proud to look at my daughter and see what an amazing adult she has become.

Today she is excelling in college, she has made tons of new friends, she has a great job and is now recovering from the injury that started all of this in the first place. She is healing. Her mind has healed, her heart is healing and her shoulder is healing. She will soon be ready to walk down the road again, towards her dream, looking to the sky. She will soon be ready to fly.

On this day, 365 days later, I see an officer in the making.

Happy Valentines Day!

I hope this is a special day for you all. I have never really been a great fan of Valentines day. My ex pretty much ruined the day for me early on in our marriage. He would expect a luxurious gift and if I didnt get it for him he would go into a rage and we would end up in a huge fight. It was almost like it was planned.

Anyway, I am not a great fan of the holiday, although I do enjoy having a nice dinner with Dana and just spending time alone. I have to work this year, so that kind of spoils any plans that we may have had, so we went out to dinner last night. It was great and fun and we kind of beat the V-day rush.

Speaking of the V-day rush, yesterday I went to buy Dana a card and here was the card aisle at Walmart PACKED with men, all looking at the cards like they are written in a foreign language. As I watched them, the majority just pulled a card out and got the heck out of there. Their wives/girlfriends are going to think they spent lots of loving time picking out just the right card..... NOT! LOLOLOL

So, today is another work day for me, and since I am typing this to post on the 14th, I dont have a clue what kind of day it is going to be. Keep your fingers crossed for us!

What has happened to Joaquin?

Joaquin Phoenix has left the gene pool. Seriously. Something strange has invaded his soul and left him a mere shell of the person he once was. Read on...

This is one of Joaquin's promo photos:



Beautiful eyes, great look, right?



Here he is in "Signs". Maybe those aliens really have abducted him now.



As Johnny Cash in "I Walk the Line". Superb performance, great vocals.


and last night on Letterman, this is scary.



I want the old Joaquin back!!! I heard today he is going to become a rap singer. Ick.

I have a brainstorm!

The nations economy is crumbling because we are running out of money, and people are losing jobs. I think if we go find all of those people who owe back taxes, (especially the senators and the politicians who still owe) and make them pay what they owe, then we will have MORE MONEY!

And lets put these guys out of business! What do you think?

How Do You Deal With Stress?

I had an interview yesterday to become a member of the local SANE team. One of the questions that I was asked was "how do you deal with stress?". I had to stop and think for a minute, I didnt have an immediate answer.

I deal with stress on a daily basis. In my profession we are dealing with peoples lives, and if that isnt stressful, I dont know what is. We are trained to be calm under pressure, to think rationally and to know what we need to do before we do it. I seriously never think about it. Adrenaline is a wonderful thing, it allows us to function at the highest level without losing a beat. I think when I have to work on a particularly difficult patient the adrenaline keeps me calm. It hasnt always worked that way, I used to shake and quake in my shoes but over the years I learned that me being nervous didnt help my patient one bit.

I had to answer the question, and after acknowledging that I have worked the last 12 years in an Emergency Room, I answered that being with my family and my dogs were really what helped relieve stress in my life. I forgot to add blogging, and facebook and reading and surfing the internet.

How do you deal with stress?

Pet Peeves!

I havent done a pet peeve post in a while, and I have a couple that have been bugging me, so here goes.

1. Cell Phone users who have no respect for those around them. this pet peeve
has been on my mind frequently over the last few days, while I was at work. What is wrong with people and why are they so obsessed with their phones that they cant turn them off when they are in a hospital emergency room? I am not talking about distraught parents who may be in the ER because they have an emergency with their child, I am talking about people who use us as a walk-in clinic for non emergent things and who must believe that their cell phone conversation is much more important than the doctors/nurses exam! I had one woman bring her son in (probably around age 10) with some minor complaint, and the entire time I was trying to triage her son, she was texting on her phone! And as if this wasnt enough, she would sigh loudly and roll her eyes when I would ask her about her sons health history. argggg

example #2 is a patient who is in the exam room and talking on her phone when I am trying to assess her! I stood there for a few minutes waiting for her to hang up and then turned and walked out. Once the doc found this out, guess what happened? Her chart went to the bottom of the stack!!! UH OH! you lose! you ignore the nurse, you lose your place in line! argggggg

2. People who carry babies around in those bucket-like carriers and never take them out! We call them "babies in a bucket". You have seen them, in restaurants and out in public. The little baby sits in the carrier while mom and dad are eating dinner, and while mom and dad are shopping and even while mom brings said baby to the ER because he/she is sick! I literally had to tell this young mother yesterday to "take the baby out of the carrier so I can examine him"!!!!! She looked at me like she was appalled that I would even consider removing the bucket baby from his bucket, and do what? Hold him??? In her arms??? OMG. what am I going to ask her to do next? talk to him?

3. people who dump their animals. Our local rescues and shelters are overrun with animals who are being dumped there because their owners cannot afford them, or cannot have them in their current place of residence or who dont neuter and spay their animals therefore they have litters that are unwanted. Come on people! If you cant afford the animal DONT BRING IT HOME! arggggg....

Ok I feel better now, I hoped you enjoyed the trip through my pet peeve zone, whats your pet peeves?

I am still here!

Believe it or not, I am still here, I cannot believe how tired I am after the last 3 days. We have been super busy at work and with the full moon, the crazies are out in great droves.

Breanna is healing nicely after her surgery. She is moving her arm all around and tonight made me feel of her shoulder, for the first time in a long time it doesnt pop and crack! She is deeming the surgery a success. She is anxious to be able to start working out again, AF ROTC is just right around the corner.

Dana and I have been working opposite schedules, I work when he is off and he works when I am off, hopefully soon we will get some synchronized schedules so we can actually spend some time together.

I now have 4 days off so hopefully I can collect my thoughts and put together a good blog post or two. wish me luck!

Have a blessed day...

There is no need to write anything else. This video has just made my day.

I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

I couldnt resist!

I received this in an email and it is just too funny not to share..

When asked to draw a picture of what they wanted to be when they grew up, second-grader "Sarah" turned in the lovely drawing shown below. Needless to say, the teacher was a bit surprised -- Mrs. Smith had always seemed like such a conservative woman. So she sent a note home to the girl's mother asking for clarification as to the picture's meaning. (





(Here's the reply the teacher received the following day)

Dear Mrs. Jones,
I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer.
I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it.

Her picture doesn't show me dancing around a pole.

It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot.
From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Smith

I did it again!

I just bought another "as seen on TV" item. OMG I love those things! And I got to go and peruse some of the items on the "as seen on TV shelves" at Walgreens. I love that Walgreens carries this stuff!

My new purchase is a "pasta-n-more" pasta cooker. I have had my eye on them since before Christmas and I guess today was the day to give it a try!It slices! it dices! it... no wait, thats another seen on TV item. This little jewel will cook pasta al dente in the MICROWAVE! And it works like a charm! I highly recommend it. I also looked at the Debbie Meyer bread bags, I love the green bags so much that I might have to try out those bread bags.

Every time I look through the ASOTV loot, I find something else that I love.

And here are some random thoughts that have been floating around in my head:

**If Michael Phelps wants to smoke weed, for the love of Pete, let him!! Why does the media have to butt into all of these celebrities lives?

** If Rod Blagojevich is such a political dud why is he appearing on practically every daytime TV talk show?

** How on earth did Kaiser Permanente approve IN FREAKING VITRO fertilization of 8 babies on a woman who is UNEMPLOYED and who has 6 living children already??? When I was living in California Kaiser was the biggest anal retentive medical facility on earth. They wouldnt pre-approve any elective medical procedure. And This woman AND her parents all filed bankruptcy in 2008, how is she supporting these children? By the way, she has hired a manager and a publicist.....

Before I leave I want to thank you all for your comments on my post yesterday, I have to learn to accept myself for what I am and stay healthy, that is my goal for 2009!

Be back tomorrow! cya!

I Quit!!.

Did you ever want to just quit? Something. Anything that you have been working hard to do. Did you ever just get really tired of struggling?

I am at that point right now. I have been struggling to stay on Weight Watchers for the last 4 months. I have fought through the holidays, I have walked past the fudge and popcorn and Christmas cookies. I have not celebrated New Years eve with snacks and goodies. I have avoided Super Bowl sunday treats and goodies. I have not ordered out for lunches while my coworkers are going out for McDonalds, Arbys, Taco Bell etc. And thats OK, Lord knows I dont need the junk. But there comes a time when I just want to quit.....

Those of you who know me personally, know that I have had a weight problem all of my life. It is in my genes. My nationality is primarily Native American with my father handing down a healthy dose of Cherokee genes (STRONG Cherokee genes) and my mom filling in the gap with her Blackfoot genes. I am destined to be overweight. I can accept that and maybe I need to.

I overcame a HUGE obstacle in 2004 and 2005 and lost 85+lbs on weight watchers. My weight watchers log book recorded 85lbs total, but I had lost 26lbs prior to joining weight watchers, so if you total it all up, I lost 111lbs from my highest weight. I have gained 20 of those lbs back in the last 4 years and I have worked like a bad dog to get it off, but it just isnt coming off. In addition to that 20 lbs I have to lose 30 more to reach my goal.

My doctor, bless her 105lb heart tells me to stop dieting and not worry about it. Menopause is fighting against me right now, with hormonal changes, excessive water weight gain and metabolism slow downs. I dont want to accept it but I am getting close to waving the white flag!

I have never been a quitter. Lord knows, I stayed in a horrible marriage for 21 years of abuse and unhappiness because I didnt want to be labeled a quitter.
I have always subscribed to the theory "when the going gets tough, the tough gets going". But I a thinking that I need to change that to "when the going gets tough the tough goes shopping!"

I think I need to go to the mall!!!

I'm BAAACCCKKKKK.....

Really, I am going to make a blog post that is blogworthy or postworthy or something similar. soon..

Tonight is not that time. I have just worked 2 weeks of pure hell on a schedule that no one should have to work and I am exhausted. Enough about that, I now have 4 days off and I will NOT be answering any telephone calls with the caller ID of my place of employment in any way, shape or form during those 4 days.

News from our homefront. Bre's shoulder is getting better, at least I think it is. She had a non-superbowl party last night and she was able to play a subdued version of the drums while playing "Rock Band". So I think she is on the mend.

Our weather is starting to resemble the later stages of winter, so hopefully Spring will appear sometime in the next 6 weeks. No matter what that damned groundhog in PA says, who taught him to forecast the weather anyway?

Back with more tomorrow!