Something to make you smile....

Military Oaths


U.S. AIR FORCE OATH OF ENLISTMENT
I, Zoomie, swear to sign away four years of my useless life to the United States Air Force
because I know I couldn't hack it in the Army , because the Marines frighten me and because I get seasick on a boat.

I swear to sit behind a desk and take credit for the work done by others more dedicated than
me who take their job seriously.

I also swear to do nothing but obsess on exercise, And I swear to uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States, even though I believe myself to be above that. I swear to strive to pass those yearly PT evaluations with enthusiasm for that is all that I know how to do.

I promise to walk around calling everyone by their first name because I know I'm not really
in the military and I find it amusing to annoy the other services.

I will have a better quality of life than all those around me and will at all times be sure to make them aware of that fact.After completion of my "basic training," I will be a lean, mean, doughnut-eating, lazy-boy sitting, civilian-wearing- blue-clothes, Chairborne Ranger.

I will believe that I am superior to all others, and will make an effort to clean the knife before stabbing the next person in the back with it. I will be able to identify many different types of aircraft, although I have never been close to one in person.

I will do no work unless someone is watching me (and it makes me look good), will annoy
those around me, and will go home early everyday.I consent to never getting promoted -- EVER -- and understand that all those whom I made fun of yesterday probably will outrank me tomorrow.

So help me God.
Signature: ____________ _________ _________ ___


Date: ____________ _________ _________ _______------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

U.S. ARMY OATH OF ENLISTMENT
I, Rambo, swear to sign away four years of my mediocre life to the United States Army
because I couldn't score high enough on theASVAB to get into the Air Force, I'm not tough
enough for the Marines, and the Navy won't take me because I can't swim.

I will wear camouflage every day and tuck my trousers into my boots because I can't figure
out how to use blousing straps.

I promise to wear my uniform 24 hours a day even when I have a date.

I will continue telling myself that I am a fierce killing machine because my drill sergeant told
me I am, despite the fact that the only action I ever will see is a court martial for sexual
harassment.I acknowledge the fact that I will make E-8 in my first year of service, and vow to maintain that it is because I scored perfect on my PT test.

After completion of my sexual -- er -- I mean, BASIC training, I will attend a different Army
school once every other month and return knowing less than I did when I left.On my first trip home after boot camp, I will walk around like I am cool and propose to my ninth-grade sweetheart.

I will make my wife stay home, because if I let her out she might leave me for a smarter,
better-looking Air Force guy.

Should she leave me twelve times, I will continue to take her back.While at work, I will maintain a look of knowledge while getting absolutely nothing accomplished.

I will arrive at work every day at 1000 hours because of morning PT and leave every day
at 1300 hours to report back to the "COMPANY."

I understand that I will undergo no training whatsoever that will help me get a job upon
separation, and will end up working construction with my friends from high school.

I will brag to everyone about the Army giving me $30,000 for college, but will be unable to
use it because I can't pass a placement exam. So help me God.
Signature:__ _________ _________ _________ _____


Date:_______ _________ _________ _________ ____

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

NAVY OATH OF ALLEGIANCE
I, Top Gun, in lieu of going to prison, swear to sign away four years of my life to the
United States Navy because I want to hang out with Marines without actually having to
BE one of them, because I thought the Air Force was too "corporate," and because
I thought, "Hey, I like to swim...Why not?"

I promise to wear clothing that went out of style in 1976 and to have my name stenciled
on the butt of every pair of pants I own.

I understand that I will be mistaken for the Good Humor man during the summer, and
for the Waffen SS during the winter. I will strive to use a different language than the
rest of the English-speaking world, using words like "deck, bulkhead, cover, and
head," when I really mean "floor, wall, hat, and toilet."

I will take great pride in the fact that all Navy acronyms, ranks and insignia, and
everything else for that matter, are completely different from the other services and make
absolutely no sense whatsoever.I will muster (whatever that is) at 0700 hours
every morning unless I am buddy-buddy with the Chief, in which case I will show up
around 0930 hours.
I vow to hone my coffee cup handling skills to the point that I can stand up in a kayak
being tossed around in a typhoon and still not spill a drop.I consent to being promoted and subsequently busted at least twice each fiscal year.

I realize that, once selected for Chief, I amrequired to submit myself to the sick, and
quite possibly illegal, whims of my new-found "colleagues. " So help me Neptune.

So help me GOD
Signature:__ _________ _________ _________ ______


Date:_______ _________ _________ _________ _____------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

U.S. MARINE CORPS OATH OF ENLISTMENT

I, ____________ _________ _____ (state name here), swear...uhhhh. ..high-and- tight... grunt... cammies...

ugh... Air Force women.... HOORAH!
So help me Corps.
Thumb Print:______ _________ _________ _________

Date:_______ _________ _________ _________ _____


** Thanks to Sheri, proud Navy mom of Seabee Nick!! **