When asked to write about the Ocean, this is what some first graders had to say:
1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6)
2) - Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)
3) - If you are surrounded by ocean you are an island. If you don't have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. ( Wayne, age 7)
4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)
5) - A dolphin breathes through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy, age six)
6)- My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6)
7) - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7 )
8)- Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen, age 6)
9) - I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy, age 6)
10) - Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (C hristopher, age 7)
11) - When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)
12) - Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, age
13) - On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass. (Julie, age 7)
14) - The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't drown I don't know. (Bobby, age 6)
15) - My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom. (James, age 7)
6 comments:
Toooo funny.
trust you tonyeta who lives on the ocean(almost) to come up with all those quips
I am laughing my "big fat ass" off at these.
Molly is my TV watching fool. They are spoiled and they have cable tv in their room set to the Animal Planet all day long. If you say "Molly, look at the dog" she goes to the TV. All dogs are on TV ya know.
BWAHAHAHA..."oysters' balls are called pearls"...BWAHAHAHAHA!!! I love this post.
And I love that you're September 15. I'm the 13th, Younger Uncle is the 14th, Older Uncle is the 15th :)!
Aren't those just too cute? Kids can sure come up with the funniest things to say. I was shopping one day with my grandson and he said in not a quiet voice "What the hell!" And I yelled Caleb! He what? That is what my momma says. Sarah grabbed his mouth and Caleb, you can't say everything mommy says...I said Sarah you should only say what Caleb can say! She said yea, you would think I would know. Lesson learned by a mommy! Kids WILL repeat what you say, and maybe not just exactly how YOU said it either! This was a very cute posting.
omg that is friggen funny! i'm seriously laughing at my desk and i know my nosey co-worker is wondering what i'm up too! lmao!
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